


naraku haters anonymous

by LightningRei



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:17:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningRei/pseuds/LightningRei
Summary: It's like Alcoholics Anonymous but Naraku is the alcohol and everyone wants to kill him.





	naraku haters anonymous

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 2 hours, this the the fastest ive ever written anything.

Inuyasha stood on a makeshift podium that looked seconds from crumbling, it had no microphone, no decorations on it, and was clearly made from rotting wood. He placed both of his hands on it, leaning over it towards the crowd in front of him. He raised a fist in front of his mouth to clear his through before placing it back down.

 

“Welcome to the first Naraku Haters Anonymous.”

 

Kagome clapped softly from nearly directly in front of the podium.

 

“Thanks, Kagome. Is this going to be weekly? Monthly? Annually? I have no idea. Anyways, I assume you’re all here because you hate Naraku too, yeah? Raise your hand if so,” he said, raising his hand after he finished his sentence.

 

Inuyasha skimmed the crowd, seeing that everyone he looked at had their hand up.

 

“Okay,” he nodded, standing up straight. “We’ve gotta introduce ourselves now.”

 

“Don’t we already know who everyone is?” Shippo asked.

 

“Can it, Shippo. I’m Inuyasha, but we probably all know that by now,” he said smugly, placing his hand on his own chest. “I hate Naraku because he indirectly _got me killed_. Among other reasons…” he cleared his throat again. “Your turns.”

 

“My name is Kikyo. I hate Naraku because he actually killed me,” she started. “All because I had no feelings towards him.”

 

Inuyasha nodded, looking around the room for anyone else to speak.

 

“I am the monk Miroku. He cursed my father, and in turn cursed me when he died,” he said, raising his right hand to show everyone his cursed appendage.

 

“I’m Sango. He got my brother killed, and brought him back to use against me!” she said, her face flushing with anguish.

 

“I’m that brother, Kohaku,” he said, sitting next to his sister. Sango grabbed him and hugged him tightly, Kohaku sighing.

 

“I’m Kagome. I hate him because…” Kagome started, pausing to think. “Because he’s hurt all my friends so much! And because he wants to kill me too! I haven’t even done anything to him!”  
  
“You say that like any of us have done anything to him,” Miroku said.

 

Kagome laughed, rubbing the back of her head. “I guess you’re right.”

 

“Moving on! The rest of you, go,” Inuyasha barked.

 

“I’m Shippo!” the young fox demon said, hopping up to his tiny feet. “I hate Naraku for the same reasons as Kagome.”

“Next.”

 

“I need no introductions,” Sesshomaru said. “But personally, I find Naraku to be a nuisance.”

 

Inuyasha deadpanned at his brother. “Is that it?”

 

Sesshomaru deadpanned back. They glared at one another for a while until someone broke the silence.

 

“I’m Kouga, of the wolf demons--”

 

“Shut up, Kouga.”

 

“Zip it, Inutrasha!”

 

“SHUT UP, KOUGA!”  
  
“ZIP IT, INUTRASHA!”

 

“Inuyasha, just let him talk,” Kagome sighed.

 

“Thank you, Kagome. _As I was saying,_ I’m Kouga of the wolf demons! That damned Naraku had my clan slaughtered just to make me fight that awful mutt.”

 

“I’m really close to just killing you right here right now, wolf twink.”

 

“Try it, fleabag!”

 

Clearing her throat to interrupt the tension, a new voice said, “I am Kagura of the Wind. Naraku gave me life, but he will not give me my freedom. For this, I will make him pay.” She held her open fan up to her lips. Kouga growled at her.

 

“You’ll make me pay?” An unfriendly voice rang from the back of the crowd.

 

Kagura immediately flinched, her serious demeanor on inflicting revenge immediately crumbling after hearing Naraku’s voice. Naraku stood up, garbed in his usual white baboon cloak. No one knew why they didn’t notice him earlier.

 

“Kagura, I’d most definitely like to see you try.”

 

“Get him out,” Inuyasha said flatly, pointing at the door.

 

Everyone raised their weapons, letting their attacks fly. They all beat Naraku out through a wall until he fled. Inuyasha just watched from his podium. Everyone filed back into the room after giving Naraku his just desserts, sitting down. Kagome and Kikyo were the last ones in, letting another sacred arrow fly for good measure.

 

“This is literally why we hate him,” Inuyasha said.

 

Everyone nodded, humming in agreement.

 

“Anyways, how do we let Naraku suffer for the things he’s done to us?”

 

“We kill him,” Kouga said.

 

“Besides that.”

 

“We could egg his castle!” Kagome said, raising her finger as if a lightbulb appeared over her head.

 

“Egg?”

 

“Yeah! In my time, it’s a type of prank. People hate it. You throw eggs aaaall over his house!”

 

“Like… Chicken eggs?”  
  
“What other eggs do you think I mean…?”

 

“Demon eggs.”

 

“No, Inuyasha. Not demon eggs.”

 

He scoffed. “Okay, not demon eggs. Anyone else have ideas before we settle for Kagome’s?”

 

No one said anything, so Inuyasha nodded. “Egg Naraku’s castle it is.”

* * *

The Naraku Haters Anonymous group all joined forces to gather as many eggs as possible, with permission from the villagers whose village they decided to stay at for this event. Kagura led them all on a long journey to Naraku’s castle, and they wondered why they hadn’t asked her to lead them there before when they had the intention of killing him. Kagura stopped, causing the rest of the group to stop as well.

 

“This is his barrier.”

 

“Barrier? Hold on, I got this. Hold my eggs, Kagome,” Inuyasha said, dumping all of his eggs into Kagome’s arms. Some of them spilled from on top of the ginormous pile she held using her shirt, Shippo trying to catch some of them before they hit the ground.

 

He cracked his neck, pulling out his Tessaiga. He gripped it with two hands as the blade shone and turned red. Raising it above his head, he leaped for the barrier and brought the blade down it, light flashing from the contact. With enough effort, the barrier dissipated and Inuyasha smirked with pride.

 

Inuyasha put his Tessaiga away, running up to Kagome and scooping up the eggs he left in her arms. “Let’s go, let’s go!” he said excitedly, rushing past Kagura into the direction of the castle. The group charged, some yelling as the castle came into view.

 

Inuyasha closed one eye and stuck a tongue out as he aimed for Naraku’s castle, egg in hand. He yelped as he saw a flurry of eggs fly above him and smash into the walls of Naraku’s hideout. Everyone turned around to find the source of the egg thrower, all landing on Sesshomaru, who’s hands were now empty. No one saw him throw the eggs, but they all knew it was him.

 

“Don’t stare,” he said.

 

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, tossing eggs into the walls now. Everyone threw eggs, Shippo needing to run a bit closer to ensure that his eggs would hit. Everyone enjoyed themselves in light of desecrating their worst enemy’s property.

 

“Take that! And that!” Kohaku yelled, really getting into it.

 

Sango laughed, trying to chuck some eggs harder than her brother. She yelped when an egg hit her in the butt. She twisted to look at Miroku, who chuckled nervously.

 

“Sorry, Sango! An honest mistake,” he said.

 

“I’ll show you mistake,” Sango growled, throwing a few eggs directly at Miroku’s head.

 

“Rot in hell, Naraku!” Kouga said, trying to throw eggs through the windows of the castle.

 

“Good aim you have there,” Kagura said, using her wind to toss eggs rather than her arms.

 

Kouga just side-eyed her and kept throwing eggs in silence.

 

A figure emerged from the castle, everyone gasping upon seeing it. Naraku stared at them all from the entrance of his castle, the trespassers freezing in place.

 

“EGG HIM!” Inuyasha yelled, firing eggs at Naraku as fast as he could. His allies joined, wasting their eggs as fast as they could on Naraku. They reduced him to a figure covered in eggs before they all bolted as fast as they could from the scene, dropping some leftover eggs on the way back. Inuyasha gave all of his friends high fives, even Kouga. Laughter filled the air from the mischevious group as they got farther from the castle.

 

Naraku groaned, not moving from his egg stained spot. “Pitiful children…”


End file.
